Batman & Robin (1997)

Look at this mess. Do you really have any desire to sit through this?

Zero stars out of 4. A complete trashy waste of everyone’s time. Infuriatingly bad on every level.

“Rubber lips are immune to your charms.”

You think to yourself: “Oh, it’s not really that bad. It’s merely an overdone update of the 60′s TV series.” But you would be agonizingly wrong. Despite years of derision, the 1966 TV series has a sense of dignity that makes it Shakespearean tragedy when compared to this garbage.

And garbage is exactly what this is. There is no single redeeming feature to the madness. Pushed to create a sequel immediately after Forever’s unexpected success, Joel Schumacher & Co. really got in over their heads with the imposed marketing and time constraints. This easily becomes apparent when looking at the production. The first meeting about the film was held with the toy company who demanded all story and plot elements to be handed in then so that their products would be ready in time for the launch.

This enormous pressure seems to have put everyone in the mindset of “Who cares what it is! Let’s just get the thing done and it doesn’t matter how weird or campy it gets!” What this notion did however is take a bad film with no point and bury it under multiple layers of camp compost.

This becomes almost unbearable to slog through and I remember just how many walkouts occurred in 1997. In the opening week. On the second day of release. Nothing has changed, except the damn thing has become even worse over time and looks terrible on video. This goes without mentioning the fact that nearly everything is ripped off or based on the exact same elements from Forever.

Guess we have to get on with the story…do we really have to? Batman (George Clooney) and Robin (Chris O’Donnell) are called into stop Mr. Freeze (AHNULD) from stealing diamonds from a museum. Terrible fight choreography, bad lighting, repeated music cues, bad line delivery, and atrocious dialogue ensues. By the by, none of these ever let up for the entire film. They have a fight with Freeze’s hockey playing goons and of course, the Dynamic Duo magically sprout ice skates form their boots. Freeze uses a rocket seemingly to escape, but freeze and kill Batman, and then plummet back to Earth killing more people. Of course the Dynamic Duo escapes by surfing down from the atmosphere on the rocket’s doors!

Freeze escapes again by freezing Robin and forcing Batman to stop and free his partner. Then we are treated to the 2nd villain’s creation because we are following in the same formula as the previous films in the franchise. Dr. Pamela Isley (Uma Therman) is a botanist in some remote South American laboratory working under another scientist who lost his Waynetech funding. He has been diverting all the money and plant research into creating a super-soldier and performs this mad experiment in front of a whole spattering of various world leaders who begin to bid on the weakling turned stupid hulking brute. His name is Bane of course. Isley witnesses this and is discovered by the mad doctor who, in one of the only slightly interesting bits in the film proclaims: “I’m afraid you’ll have to die!”, (but even this is just lifted from Batman Returns) kills her by throwing her into her plants and chemicals. Like that would work…oh but it did!

In the Batcave we are treated to Freeze’s backstory, appropriately ripped off badly from Batman: The Animated Series. This Freeze was a bit clumsy and fell into the freezing solution he had made to preserve his dying wife. Ooooo how sad…in TAS, the laughable villain form the comics was made over into a tragic figure with a definite reason for hating all humanity. Instead he’s now a cartoon.  So now can we move on? Oh yes, let’s get back to the Bruce/Dick Grayson dynamic that has grown from their distrust in Forever into a growing partnership between two friends…and that’s another movie of course, because Batman & Robin simply repeats the exact same thematic issue between the characters that was resolved at the climax of the last movie!!! And this time Robin is constantly whining about his sad situation and complaining to no one in particular that Bruce will never trust him. Bruce himself says the same lines about recklessness etc. for some reason. Maybe it was just to give the two characters some kind of interaction. It sure as hell doesn’t work.

The dead Isley then rises from the ground as Poison Ivy, supposedly Mother Nature’s one-woman machine for natural causes. She quickly kills everyone and recruits the hulking idiot to be her compatriot. If only Bane had just killed her then and there. Oh wait, he would have done that if he was in any way shape or form like his comic book counterpart, the brilliant inmate who brought Batman to a weakened state before deducing his secret identity and breaking his back. But no, he just says his name in agreement and follows Ivy to Gotham City where she has set her sights on the man behind the funding of the laboratory, Bruce Wayne. Now that’s convenient isn’t it! Now the villain’s scripts are all tied into the main story nicely!

Freeze hides out in an abandoned ice cream factory (not at all obvious) and spends his time attempting to lead his hockey Eskimo minions in song. In this awful setting he explains both his plans to extort and freeze Gotham, and visits his frozen wife. All while smoking a cigar. (Which for a character who cannot stand any source of heat is absolutely unbelievably STUPID!)

Meanwhile back at Wayne Manor, a strange girl arrives and is revealed to Barbara, Alfred’s niece. She has come all the way from England (with the worst non-attempt at an accent possible) to visit and spend time with her favorite uncle. Don’t you just love these characters who get invented by screenwriters just to fill a story need or pad time, who were never referenced in any way before that point? She is truly stunned to see that a butler serves people.

Barbara later sneaks out and steals a motorcycle. Gasp! Could all not be what it seems? the next day, like Edward Nygma before her, Ivy appeals to Bruce in her civilian guise to back her plans to save the rainforest at the cost of human suffering. Bruce of course refuses, and we quickly drop the whole eco-warrior bit. Batman & Robin setup a trap for Freeze by holding a charity ball featuring diamonds on display. We go through an agonizing scene where rich old farts bid on “nights” with young women for “charity” then Poison Ivy appears in a bear suit (Just what was it with these? Therman appears in The Avengers in one too!), strips and blows pheromone dust to enrapture all men’s minds to do her bidding. This causes a bidding war for her company, with Batman and Robin getting into a putrid shouting match about who is worthier, culminating in Batman pulling a credit card with the expiration date “forever”. Thank god at that time Arnold breaks into steal the diamonds.

Ivy is fascinated with him, especially because her charms do not work on the cold heart of Freeze. Batman & Robin leap into pursuit, with Batman capturing Freeze and sending him to Arkham Asylum.We now switch back to plot no. 12, with Dick catching Barbara sneaking out to go and participate in an underground motorcycle race populated by all sorts of nice folks. (right down to a gang dressed as Alex DeLarge & friends. Yes, I am not making this up. What exactly is kiddie about this?) They race and people try to kill them…oooh…wow, no one cares.  Dick saves Barbara from a fall towards a terrible blue screen matte and they wind up back at home where Barbara reveals how she’s been doing this to deal with the pain from her parent’s death. She wants to use her winnings to take Alfred away from his servitude. How nice…if we cared at all.

We’re now at the halfway mark…let the BS continue.

All are shocked to find that Alfred is sick. This is a fact that both Bruce and the audience have been aware of the entire film so far, as at nearly every opportunity Alfred has been shown to be in a weakened state in all possible stereotypical ways. He is dying of a rare disease, only to provide a reason to care about anything in this damn movie. Yes, this plotline about Alfred is the only damn thing you will pay any attention to in this glitzy shambles. It also gives Clooney a moment or two to act and even he cannot bring himself to care.

Freeze is in Arkham for all of a few minutes before Ivy and Bane appear to break him out. She proposes a partnership and of course Freeze accepts. They attempt to retrieve both diamonds and Freeze’s wife but run into both the police and the Dynamic Duo. A fight ensues with no result and the evildoers escape after wasting more screentime. Ivy departs, pulling the plug on the frozen bride as she exits to have Freeze all to herself.

He learns of her death, quickly attributed to Batman, and vows vengeance on “Gotham and then the world!”. He plans to freeze the city with an ice ray and the two begin setting up this nefarious plot. Dick and Bruce have continued fighting over Ivy, and Bane is dispatched to replace the Batsignal with a Robin one. Barbara discovers the Batcave where Alfred has made her a Batsuit…wait, what? That’s caring for your nieces according to this script.

Robin is lured to Ivy’s lair where she finally plants that kiss on him. He then imparts the wonderful line I began with, and the Dynamic Duo’s trap is sprung. By trap I mean they both immediately get captured by plants like idiots, leaving the new girl to save the day. Batgirl of course crashes through a skylight, and she and Ivy fight whilst exchanging terrible one-liners. Ivy is incapacitated and Batman quickly disregards the fact that this idiot is now running around with them.

Freeze has taken control of the observatory for his ice ray and begins to freeze the city. This means that we are treated to “hilarious” moments of everyday life being frozen in ice! Not so. The Dynamic trio (?) speed towards Freeze in three ridiculous winterized ice vehicles and an abrupt costume change to stupid looking silver lined outfits.

They begin an overlong battle atop the icy tower culminating in the defeat of Freeze and the unfreezing of the city via government satellites reflecting the sun’s rays. Oh joy, they won, what a big surprise. They then convince Freeze to show them the means to cure the early stages of his wife’s disease, because wouldn’t you know it-that what Alfred is dying of. Freeze is put in Arkham to cure his wife and torture Ivy, Alfred is restored and we’re left wondering just who would be doing the expansion work on the Batcave.

To say this film is uninspired is an understatement. The sets, costumes, cinematography, score, lighting, design, pacing, editing, performances and writing are all uninspired. This is what lies under all those coats of unnecessary glitter, a terribly weak and uninteresting film. When taken in all at once your senses are so quickly overloaded that the scenes become at first ridiculous, then tedious, tiresome and finally a chore to sit through.  If you really pay attention it also becomes readily apparent just how much of the film is simply lifted or copied directly from Forever. Bits of the plotting, themes, design, Batman’s end costume cowl and music score cues. In fact, this is so blatant that there are numerous moments in the film where they literally re-use the exact same music cue from the previous film in a scene that is totally unrelated!

The performances are as wooden as the dialogue, most notably that of Clooney, who gives us a Bruce/Batman so bland that he in fact becomes a non-entity in his own film. The attempts at Batman doing humor are so terribly bad that you end up wanting to punch Clooney in the face after a certain amount of time. (And I really like his performances. There’s a reason why he always apologizes for this.) Therman so grossly overplays Poison Ivy that you have no desire to even think of the character again, and wish for someone to shut her up much earlier. Then to add to those, three characters in the Batman universe are ruined: Mr. Freeze, Batgirl and Bane. They bear little to no resemblance to their original counterparts and should be quickly disregarded.  One of the bigger criticisms of the film has always been that Robin does nothing but whine and complain about Bruce’s lack of trust and is annoying because of this. To be perfectly frank, in a film so overloaded and badly written as this, Robin almost becomes a welcome distraction from the others in that he has an actual defined problem that we know of and is still somewhat grounded in reality.

For a Mr. Freeze story, look at the TAS episode which relaunched him as a Batman villain, “Heart of Ice”. In 23 minutes, the Animated Series sets up and executes a perfect story arc with defined tragedy that gives us everything we need and want from a Batman story, which is something that none of the films are really ever able to do fully. Batman & Robin fails on every level at this for 101 more minutes.

We’ve all blamed Joel Schumacher and the film’s production team for years because of this movie. It took eight long years of many development hells and scripts before another Batman appeared onscreen. (Including Schumacher’s attempts to do a true Batman film with a hard rating or his pet project of Batman: Year One) But I’m not so sure anymore. I think it was a rushed film, designed by the studio to capitalize on Forever’s unexpected success in every way possible. This forced production was then implemented on a very rushed schedule that further restricted everyone so that seemingly anything went before camera. Simply listen to the first 20 minutes of Schumacher’s commentary on the DVD and he gets into this in detail. He really was a director-for-hire here.

Batman & Robin never knows just what it is and never has a clear goal in mind. It falls apart for 124 minutes, all the while showing its many seams and attempting a knowing wink at the audience. Many have decried it as a big screen adaptation of the 60′s TV series, but the issue in that idea is that while campy the TV series played most of everything straight-faced. In fact, it wasn’t a comedy so much as it was a satire of Batman and comic books in general. It operates on far more levels than people give it credit for, and something which this film can never hope to achieve.

The final film in the first Batman franchise comes across as an over-budgeted, overstuffed, overinflated, mindless, marketing ruled mess of bats***. Which is something I have worked with and is quite unpleasant in any form.

EDITIONS: Same video history as the other three: VHS and LD, 1998 DVD, 2005 Special Edition, Blu-ray from the same master. The Special Edition looks fine on the surface, but like the other three films the HD master for the SE DVD and Blu-ray leaves much to be desired. Detail is lacking, giving an inherent softness which makes the film all the more unbearable. Colors seem a bit desaturated as well. The film has also been cropped form 1.85:1 to 1.78:1.

Audio is clear enough on the SE DVD’s Dolby and DTS 5.1 mixes with the DTS as always being the clear winner. (When has there ever been a DVD with a better Dolby track?) The Blu-ray’s Dolby TrueHD 5.1 is exactly the same just at a higher bitrate.

Do what I did, only get the film in the Batman boxset when it goes on sale, to save on the others and not be seen buying a copy of the travesty.

NOTE: At least there is one positive: The last great Smashing Pumpkins song came out of this movie. The alternate version was used in the trailer for Watchmen, a film that learned so much from this movie so that it could simply make the exact same mistakes in the opposite way.

Batman Forever (1995)

3 stars out of 4. Compromised edit befuddles a story meant to contain both heroics and darkness. And yes the Bat-asses are absolutely stupid.

Batman Forever has a noble idea: take the two least alike aspects of the Dark Knight and try to examine both in the same story. These two themes are the psychological trauma that befell and still haunts Bruce Wayne, and the heroic duty of Batman.

I always take a lot of flack for this, but I still love this movie. Call it leftover childhood nostalgia or something but I can’t help but enjoy this the 5,000th time around. I know it has many problems and I know it gets too campy in all the wrong places. But it is still to date the only Batman film to include the escapist adventure element of the character. Forever is a forgotten film that is only remembered in the wake of the indisputably awful Batman & Robin. The film’s problems stem primarily from studio meddling with the reputed 160 minute original cut of Forever, but the really big problem came in a last-minute meddling with the final film and dropping some crucial subplot scenes. Then they re-ordered the opening structure of the film and made things very discombobulated. Read the original novelization or a earlier script if you can find it, and you get a much better idea of what the original intent was.

Like the first film, there is a lot of subtext going on here. And again like the first film, it is impossible to get all of it due to not being given the whole picture. Val Kilmer’s performance goes beyond Michael Keaton in the psychologically damaged and tortured department. His Bruce Wayne is a quiet reserved man who puts on an air of ineffectiveness as a mask to hide his obsessed brooding. And boy does he ever brood. You begin to wonder if he does anything besides brood until he begins having flashbacks to the night of his parent’s murder. These come without warning and are the heart of the film. Deep in the shadowy visions of his subconscious is his soul crying out in repressed torment. This was the major subplot of the film and was unfairly ripped out by meddling studio heads. All that remain are bits and pieces of the flashbacks and references. Originally, this culminated with Bruce finally coming to terms with the beast deep within the caverns of the Batcave.

Kilmer deserved a straight Batman story that did not delve into the campier aspects of the Bat universe. As it stands, his character provides a strong mooring point so that the story doesn’t go flying off into lunacy, something that did happen on Batman & Robin. And as another plus his main appearances as Batman here are probably the most iconic we’ll ever get for live-action (save for the stupid Bat-nipples). It is rare to find an actor who can play both Bruce and Batman, but it is another to play both well and as two separate defined characters.

The love interest this time around is Dr. Chase Meridian (Nicole Kidman), an imminent psychologist lured to Gotham by its notorious denizens.  She quickly falls for Batman and is intrigued by the endless mysteries behind the man known as Bruce Wayne. The Bruce/Batman relationship with a psychologist is a brilliantly twisted idea, but that too goes nowhere in the film.  The novelization has a great subplot where Chase realizes Bruce’s secret and wrestles with herself about revealing it, but that too is removed from the film.

The villains are Two-Face and the Riddler. Forever follows Returns’ formula by having one established villain with disfigurement, joined by a distressed person with psychological issues who loses it to become a costumed criminal. Two-Face serves as little more than plot advancement in the final film. Tommy Lee Jones is wasted as Two-Face, but I think the character was devolved in this way to eventually just be a silly watered down version of Nicholson’s Joker.

The Riddler begins life as a lowly WayneTech employee named Edward Nygma. He idolizes Bruce and presents him with his wacky invention for a 3D Televsion box to implant viewers directly into their shows.  In a twist of fate, Bruce notices the Batsignal and is forced to cut Edward short. Because of his temperamental nature, Nygma’s desire for an immediate answer gets a no from Bruce who was his idol. This rejection causes a break, and that night Nygma assaults his factory boss and uses him as a guinea pig for his invention. The test shows a side result that allowed Ngyma’s brain energy to feed off the schmuck hooked into the machine.He kills his boss and resigns his post, leaving little riddles for Bruce to find. Eventually he makes a costumed identity and seeks out Two-Face to start mass producing his Box to sap the mental energy of Gotham.

The problem with this is that Jim Carrey is too Jim Carrey as the Riddler, and lacks the panache and restraint that Frank Gorshin brought to the role on the TV series. In addition, the bit about Nygma’s intense devotion to Bruce is dialed down so that his constant attempts at one-upmanship go largely unnoticed. (Look at the party scene, where he even fatidously has done his hair in Bruce’s style and dons Bruce’s exact glasses and accent at times.) Robin Williams would have brought a much more chilling and intense portrayal in Tim Burton’s proposed version, much as Tim Curry would have as the Joker in 1989. (Two of the all-time missed casting opportunities in my opinion, but these would have been “R” rated   Burton’s Batman III would have also featured Billy Dee Williams as Harvey Two-Face, Keaton in the Batsuit and followed in the same darkening vein as Returns.

Lastly, Two-Face wreaks havoc on a circus and orphans Dick Grayson (Chris O’Donnell). This happens right in front of Bruce and furthers his guilt over his parents’ death because in his eyes it has happened again. He has let his own tragedy happen to another and is just as guilty as the killer. In one of the finest moments in the film, Alfred comes across Bruce in a trance having yet another vision. Upon awakening he says: “It’s happening again. A monster comes out of the night, a scream, two shots. I killed them.”

–”What did you say?”

“He killed them. Two-Face. He slaughtered that boy’s parents.”

–”No, no. You said, “I killed them.”

Bruce takes him in and persuades him to stay for a time. All Dick cares about is vengeance. Bruce sees this as a way to correct the same mistakes he feels he has made and attempts to push him into the light indirectly. Dick causes Bruce some much unneeded headaches in the process before discovering the Batcave and taking the Batmobile for a joyride. Robin still feels shoehorned into the story a bit, but at least the dynamic works a little better by lifting the idea of an older Dick Grayson from the Animated series. Has anyone ever really liked the idea of the Dark Knight running around with a little kid with no pants on? It was only doable in the earlier comics really, as none of the film adaptations have attempted a young Robin. (Imagine the current films with a Robin. Hockey pad wearing Godamn Batman anyone?)

The look of the film is wonderfully realized, with batman having a distinct look to all of his arsenal right down to the soft blue glow seeping out of the Batmobile. The design changes bring in some fresh vitality, but lack the presence of Burton’s films because the Forever sets are primarily mattes, models and digital imaging. This works as a new vision of Gotham, but on the whole is never very involving because we are given very little detail other than the setting as a mere backdrop. Even the Batcave seems rather empty because we are never shown more than just a room with a car and a desk. (Yet another element cut out of the film.) And I really hope you like neon, because Forever is filled with it. In nearly every set this is some kind of neon trailing along something and there’s even a street gang composed entirely of black-lit neon paint. The setting is also harmed by the severe series of edits made to the film as much of the visual atmosphere was lost.

The cinematography attempts to match the tone and style Burton set, staying in the same 1.85:1 spherical universe instead of opting for Scope widescreen. Sets, costumes and lights are bright and colorful almost giving a somewhat wacky sense to the proceedings which no doubt come at the desires of new director Joel Schumacher.

The score however is fantastic. It works partially in-tandem with the motifs that Elfman setup all the while going for that big Batman fanfare. Elliot Goldenthal provides one of the best aspects of the entire film, able to accurately portray both the serious brooding of Bruce/Batman with the campy antics of the Riddler.

The initial idea seems to have been a meeting of Bruce’s tortured soul with the fantasy and adventure of Batman. What happened was that the studio wanted a more commercialized venture and here and there little changes became big changes. This started in the scripting process and continued throughout the shooting and into the editing suite.  The scenes in the film bang together if you really look at them, and there is a noticeable patchwork effect if you pay close enough attention. The original cut was rumored to be in the neighborhood of 160 minutes and features a number of scenes finally released on DVD in partially unfinished state. Some of these and other deleted scenes include:

Courtesy of Wikipedia:

•         The escape of Two-Face from Arkham Asylum. René Auberjonois had more scenes filmed here, playing Doctor Burton but his role was reduced to a cameo in the final film. He encounters the escape with the psychologist hanged in Two-Face’s cell with “The Bat Must Die” written in blood on the wall. This was supposed to be the film’s opening scene, but producers decided this was far too dark for a family audience. This scene appears in a rough edit on the special edition DVD. Segments of the scene also appears in the music video for U2′s “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me”.
•         The construction of NygmaTech was more in-depth. There were scenes shot that appear in publicity stills of Edward Nygma with a hard hat helping with the construction of his headquarters on Claw Island. This scene does not appear on the new special edition release but is shown in the sticker album published by Merlin Collections.
•         Sugar and Spice, played by Drew Barrymore and Debi Mazar, try out the Riddler’s device during the montage when it goes on sale. They are seated with the Riddler and Two-Face on the couch where Chase is handcuffed later in the film. This scene appears in the comic adaptation but not in the final film.
•         The most well-known deleted scene involved further backstory to the film. It involved Bruce waking up after being shot in the head by Two-Face, temporarily wiping a part of his memory; he has forgotten his origin and life as the Dark Knight. Alfred takes him to the Batcave, which has been destroyed by the Riddler. They stand on the platform where the Batmobile was, and Alfred says, “Funny they did not know about the cave beneath the cave.” The platform then rotates downward to another level where the sonar-modification equipment is kept, from the special Batsuit to the hi-tech weaponry. Bruce then discovers the cavern where he first saw the image that inspired him to become Batman – a giant bat. The bat appears and Bruce raises his arms and the shot shows that they are one. Bruce now remembers who he is and goes with Alfred to solve the riddles left throughout the film. Screenwriter Akiva Goldsman admitted the scene was very theatrical on the special edition DVD and felt it would have made a difference to the final cut. The bat was designed and created by Rick Baker, who was in charge of the make-up of Two-Face. This scene appears in a rough form on the special edition DVD and is briefly mentioned in the comic adaptation.
•         The original ending was an homage to the first film. When Alfred drives Doctor Chase Meridian back to Gotham she asks him “Does it ever end?” Alfred replies, “No, Doctor Meridian, not in this lifetime…” The Bat-Signal shines on the night sky and Batman is standing on a pillar looking ahead. Robin then comes into shot and joins his new partner. They both leap off the pillar, towards the camera. A rough edit of the first half of the scene appears on the special edition DVD, but not in its entirety. The sequence with Batman and Robin at the end of this scene appears in a teaser trailer for the video game, which is on the VHS release of this film, released in the UK on December 3, 1995.

You can begin to see some of the film’s original shape in these descriptions, and these are further explained in original drafts and the film’s tie-in book novelization. I highly recommend tracking the book down if you can find a copy, because given a few novel-to-film transitive changes, this could have easily been the best Batman film.

The film as it stands was cobbled together by a editor at the last minute to have the closest thing to a summer popcorn movie for 1995. But it isn’t bad. Just full of missed opportunities, some of which were originally present but removed at various points by a meddling studio. But dammit, Batman Forever is a Batman movie that actually feels like Batman! He is the comic book hero who is tortured and haunted by his past and desire for vengeance, yet whose crusade is in its own way a noble one. Just as there are different tonal versions of the character in the comics dependent of the time of publication and writers, there are differing Batman films. This just happens to like promoting the more traditional heroic aspects and what exactly is wrong with that? In Forever you can feel that childhood desire to be Batman, which is not something to throw out! There’s an actual dramatic arc still present despite the edits that some people nowadays could really learn from…clears throat…I’m not suggesting anyone in particular…

EDITIONS: Same as with the other Bat-films in the first franchise: 1997 DVD, 2005 2 Disc Special Edition with Dolby and DTS 5.1, and Blu-ray from the old HD master with Dolby TrueHD 5.1. Strangely, Forever appears to be the softest of all the films, and I don’t think this is part of the photography. It seems that Warner inadvertently or not did too much processing on the video resulting in this over-soft and frankly almost flat look. It did not look this way theatrically at all.

I last watched this film on projected DVD in a sound suite. With amps and the like, the DTS 5.1 track was incredible. However, it sounded a bit too enhanced to my ears and not quite how I remembered the film sounding. I stumbled across this review from The Widescreen Review of the Laserdisc:

   Both versions of the soundtrack are a blast and you had better be braced into your seat when things get revved up and the 25Hz deep bass kicks in at reference level. The use of the discrete 5.1 palette is wonderful with energized directional and motion effects throughout the soundfield. But the Dolby Surround® version delivers an even fuller bass soundfield experience, with the discrete better articulated.

I’ve always felt that the Special Editions of the Batman films (ported to Blu-ray) had been tweaked and didn’t fully resemble the original presentations. The first film never felt right to me until the LD. I actually have a copy of the Forever LD, and decided to give it a try.

This Dolby Surround track has some of the most natural bass I’ve ever encountered on a film. Though I still lack an AC3 demodulator, it crushes the DVD 5.1 mixes (even DTS!) from sheer dynamic range alone. Every channel is well balanced with tremendous natural bass and my subwoofer sounding like it’s being fed a huge LFE. All this from a 2.0 matrixed stereo track! The rear surround is actually split as well so there is rear separation just like a 5.1 mix, but just a tiny bit muddy. This is like being in the theaters of old during the 90′s era of sound system wars.

In other news, La La Land Records has just released Elliot Goldenthal’s complete score on a Limited 2 CD set, available for the first time ever. The original CD was edited down substantially and has been impossible to find, so this is release is really welcome.

Don’t even bother with the videogames, they’re terrible. Many hours of my childhood were spent damning the Sega Genesis version.

And now…oh crap, it’s time for Batman & Robin. W H Y ?

Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)

Gorgeous. When was Batman art like this?

4 stars out of 4. As of yet the definitive Batman on film.

“Please! I need it to be different now. I know I made a promise, but I didn’t see this coming. I didn’t count on being happy.”

These words pour from the soul as a painful confession by Bruce Wayne kneeling before his parents’ tombstone in a moment of absolute despair. He has been presented with a never before glimpsed chance of happiness and it has become a torment to his vengeful spirit.

Yes, I know what you’re thinking: “a 76 minute animated movie? How can this be a Batman film? How can it display realized drama and scope?” It does still feature numerous issues from it’s original direct-to-video format, but as an experience this is the truest representation of The Batman in cinema.

Often overlooked as an extended episode of the brilliant-beyond-description animated series, Mask of the Phantasm is told in the form of a classical noir, relying heavily on the use of extended flashbacks and deep rooted character perils. This alone sets it apart from all other Batman films for this is a bold departure from the accepted format. Th e entire film has a overtone of tragedy and loss and this was intended for children. Imagine what they could have done with a full scale motion picture.

The acting utilizes the cast from the series with a few additions. This means of course that Kevin Conroy is Batman and Mark Hamill is the Joker. Notice that I use the word “is” instead of “portrays”. These two actors so embody the characters that they literally are Batman and The Joker. They’ve done it for so long by this point in time (20 years now) that they could play these two in their sleep, but never can any of the live-action actors come close to showcasing these vocal powerhouses. Conroy has always been able to present the Bruce/Batman dynamic and like the actual comic character is able to slip in and out of both at a moment’s notice. His Bruce is a tortured crusader who must present a slightly clumsy and absent-minded mask to the public. Yet inside that head you can feel the power of the world’s greatest detective. His Batman is iconic, and can aptly play all aspects of the Batman character right down to Bats’ sense of humor.

Just as there are two sides of Bruce/Batman, there are two sides of the Joker. One is the comic clown as seen in the comics of the 50′s and Caesar Romero’s TV series Joker, and the other is a ingenious psychopath with a theatrical flair. Hardly is there ever a incarnation that incorporates both sides together as one individual who is both whimsically goofy and frightening. Hamill is the one actor who does this and is capable of taking dear old Mr. J in any direction possible. Story wise, Joker isn’t even the main villain and is only incorporated into events because of previous Mob associations. But his chilly clowning adds a certain amount of sparkle in the gleaming toothy smile.

The main plot set in the present day sees a new masked figure appear in Gotham, known as the Phantasm. This individual begins bumping off old Mob heads with seemingly no given intent. Due to a cape and mask he is mistakenly identified as Batman, thus straining the relationship between vigilante and city and setting a police task force on the tails of the Bat. Batman begins an investigation into this mysterious new figure and begins detective work-Gasp! Batman actually being a detective on film? What is this tomfoolery?

“There appears to be some chemical residue on the lawn. Could match the traces on the glass. Not much, but it’s been that kind of day.”

Then MOTP resurrects a figure from Bruce’s past, the beautiful Andrea Beaumont, or the one that got away. Through a series of long and delicate flashbacks their relationship begins and blossoms against the backdrop of Bruce becoming the Batman. He begins to wrestle between this incredible new found possibility of happiness and his solemn vow of vengeance. This culminates in a confused rejection of both paths until he makes up his own mind. And then it is decided for him…and The Batman lives.

It is unfortunate that MOTP was always intended as a video release for children. In fact it was only at the late insistence of Warner Bros. that the film was pushed to theaters. This very late rush resulted in little publicity and a quick death at the box office. The main problem is that the 78 minute canvas is too constrictive for this story. The big plot reveal becomes too apparent too quickly because there is not enough room for more development. This is the film’s major flaw, but it is not one that can really be attributed to the filmmakers. They were attempting to tell a more adult Batman story in keeping with the comics but in a smaller animated video format. This considered, all of the right elements are in place to fully realize the dark and corrupt Gotham City

“I can read lips.”

Let’s get down to it. The design and look if MOTP is gorgeous. Even if it’s just the animated series on the big screen. The big upside to MOTP getting a theatrical release was being printed on 35mm and projected on mammoth screens to obliterate the small  rounded TV’s of the day. And Technicolor handled the printing process, giving colors and tones never before seen in the animated universe. There are deep orange hues during the flashbacks and skin tones that give this warm feeling amidst the black coldness of Gotham and the present. Even the animation choices show a remarkable camera intent, with animated cinematography that rivals the live-action films.

This was my first theatrical Batman experience (I was one of the ones lucky enough to see this on the big screen) and although I was only three at the time it was unbelievably powerful. It was shown in a darkened huge auditorium, THX certified and designed, that was both empty and quite chilly. A perfect environment for this as it felt like being in the Batcave. I don’t think my mom knew how adult MOTP was but it was a defining Batman moment for me. Never have I felt the same after any of the later films (though as a kid I cherished Forever for being different) and like Returns is a film I never want to end.

I wrote that “Batman Returns is a haunted dream come to life”. MOTP is a haunted noir dream. This is the heart and soul of The Dark Knight on film. It doesn’t matter that it’s animated, for in fantasy animation you can do far more than with live-action. In fact, I still fully believe that the only true comic book adaptations that work on every level and actively create and elevate the hero portrayed are the Batman animated series works and the Fleischer Superman theatrical cartoons. Mask of the Phantasm deserves to be better known and widely seen by all Bat-fans if only to remember just who Batman is.

“I am vengeance. I am the night. I AM BATMAN!”

EDITIONS: MOTP was released theatrically framed at 1.85:1 with Dolby Stereo surround audio. It was almost immediately released on VHS and Laserdisc. The DVD release is an earlier WB one, on a flipper disc featuring the theatrical 1.85:1 and a fullscreen presentation on the flipside. Sound is the Dolby surround represented in standard DVD quality Dolby 2.0 surround. The image is overly grainy and noisy, evidence that this is literally the old video master ported to DVD. The full screen version actually appears to be open-matte providing more information on the top and bottom of the frame but losing a bit on the sides. Either presentation is worthy, but it was re-framed for 1.85 so this is the preferred image. (Though noticeably a bit too tightly framed on a few shots.)

This open-matte version was re-released packaged with Batman & Mr. Freeze: Subzero.

This film deserves a new release, preferably a special edition with features and commentary. With some of the other DC animated films leaking out into Blu-ray hopefully we can see a new HD scan of a interpositive in the near future.

If only this would happen!

Batman Returns (1992)

4 stars out of 4. The Batman broods, Catwoman roars, and Penguin schemes in a beautifully realized snowy Gotham.

“You’re just jealous, because I’m a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask!”

–”You might be right“

Batman (1989) is a strange cross between a huge commercial mammoth and a quirky art movie that later came to be known as a Tim Burton film. It is this constant back and forth struggle that simultaneously harms the impact but makes the first Batman so damn interesting. However, it cannot be considered a true work of the director behind the lens, so Warner Bros. made it up to his the second time round. In order to lure Burton back for Batman II they had to offer him full creative control on a story that he liked.

Giving Burton carte blanche was one of the single best things to happen to the cinematic Dark Knight. Batman Returns is not only a staggeringly dark and adult film, it heightens Burton’s fascination with duality to such an extreme that for the only time in a live-action Batman film we actively question the nature of Bruce/Batman’s crusade in reference to our own lives. (Well, we also do this in the other great Batman film, but that’s in the next review.)

Returns is a brooding experience, a slow-burning multifaceted portrait of deeply flawed individuals who resort to using masks to conceal their true selves. Many decry the film for not featuring Batman as the prominent character, but when is that ever in any of the films? Here Burton is not afraid to go all the way in crafting a psychologically complex cast of characters that make the first film look like little more than a Saturday morning serial. Batman Returns is a haunted dream come to life.

The real villain behind it all is the aptly named Max Schreck, portrayed by Christopher Walken who is one of those rare actors with the gift of making anything better by merely appearing onscreen. He is a power obsessed manipulator who is scheming to build a power plant that will actually stockpile energy. But he is trying to find a way to get it past the stodgy new mayor.

Into his lap falls the Penguin (Danny DeVito) who is a deformed outcast determined to take his rightful place in society with the help of his Red Triangle gang. They kidnap Schreck and Penguin attempts to blackmail him with knowledge of Schreck’s shady business dealings. Schreck agrees and later convinces Penguin to run for mayor.

Meanwhile, Shreck’s frazzled and ineffective new secretary is making a mess of her job. Her pathetic life is such that she spends one night going through locked files to prepare for an important meeting. Schreck discovers her and unfortunately for Miss Selina Kyle these files happen to divulge the power plant scheme. In a great sequence, Schreck teases her death and then flings her out a window. This does not kill Selina, who is awakened by a horde of alley cats. A return home and a mental breakdown later resorts in some quick sewing work…

Batman intercedes and reacts to all of these individual plots as a catalyst. He is never ahead of the curve and instead prowls as the winged protector instead of the crimefighter. Keaton’s portrayal of Bruce/Batman is even more nuanced in Returns, so that while his brooding might have been seen or displayed in Batman, Returns features a complete obsessive and deeply broken man. his introduction into the film is made while sitting in a pitch black study inside Wayne Manor. The Batsignal is flashed into the sky, and giant mirrors on the manor track it into the study window, illuminating the darkness with the Bat insignia. Bruce stands into the light and then moves towards it in a stunning visual of embracing destiny.

Batman’s eventual meet with Catwoman is mirrored by Bruce’s immediate attraction to the now brazen and fractured Selina Kyle, who presents as much of if not more of a challenge than Catwoman presents to the Dark Knight. Both pairs share an almost animal attraction towards one another that becomes manifested in a revealing human nature during the day, and turns towards violence when they don their masks at night. Bruce/Batman instinctively desires to save both women, and then realizes his more personal feelings beyond that. Catwoman acts as the aggressive side of Selina’s psyche doing all that she could never bring herself to voice previously. Initially this tirade is seemingly an anti-male fight, but as her “first time” out proves, she is just as sick of the women too. Her weariness matches Batman’s perfectly.

Batman has grown tired of his crusade. Burton and Keaton provide glimpses into Batman’s real world, for example after his first meeting with Catwoman Batman is shown sitting down in the Batcave wounded by her nail barb. He asks Alfred for antiseptic and stares at the blade partly undressed form the costume. His eyes look off into the darkness and he murmurs Catwoman’s greeting: “meow”. Batman reacts instead of actively searching out crime, yet his mind can never stop processing his never-ending thirst for justice. Upon the Penguin’s initial mass acceptance into Gotham, only Bruce/Batman harbors a distrust that may partially be from an odd sense of what is almost jealousy. As Alfred asks: “Why are you now determined to prove that this Penguin is not what he seems? Must you be the only lonely man-beast in town?”

DeVito’s performance as the Penguin is not really a truly menacing one. In fact, the Penguin is quite sympathetic as a deformed outcast desiring to take his revenge against a society so cruel that as an infant his own parents dumped him in the sewers on a cold Christmas Eve. His manipulation at the hands of Schreck only enhances this sympathy as a man hungrily tearing away at a raw fish being catapulted into a mayoral campaign. Yet the Penguin has a knowing sense of life that belies the script’s twisted sense of humor. Not only is this a deep film for adults to consider, it’s darkly funny too.

Gotham City is stunning to look at just like the first one was. The switch from the massive Gotham set built in England to soundstages on the Warner back lot sounds like a budget cut at first thought, but the production design actually goes beyond Anton Furst’s sprawling dingy Gotham to create a snowy oppressive landscape that seems to leap right out of Detective Comics. And snow. Did I mention the snow? In Batman Returns, it’s always snowing in Gotham. The use of refrigerated sets for the penguins allowed for use of actual snow in L.A. of all places. This wonderfully chilly atmosphere lends an air of dreamlike reality to the proceedings s much that at times one feels as if you’ve fallen into a dark snowglobe.

Danny Elfman’s score is much improved as he no longer is forced to rely on the heavy heroic theme and gets freed up to be a bit more operatic. There is always a note of tragedy in each character’s theme and this is no more apparent than in the conclusion where the music becomes Hermann-esque. The script is endlessly inventive and interesting, as the massive subtext that is so interesting in Batman is no longer “sub”. Returns is all subtext and truly fascinating to delve into. The gloom and sense of tragedy combine into what can truly be considered a form of operatic narrative.

It is this theme of duality and outcasts that further separates Returns from all the other Bat-films. Combined with the stupendous production design of a wintery Gotham, an actual adult witty depth far beyond the first film and a bold style from a director unafraid and not limited on self-creativity this time around; Batman Returns is not only the best live-action Batman film to this day, but is also the best and most fully-realized of all Burton’s films.

Meow.

Oh, and this Batman kills. Keaton punch.

EDITIONS: The first film given a wide release in Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound, Returns quickly debuted on VHS and Laserdisc. It follows the pattern of the other three Batman films in the franchise by seeing an early DVD release featuring image manipulation, slight cropping, artifacts and all the fun stuff. Then it was treated to a 2 disc Special edition like the others in 2005, from a new HD master. 5.1 mixes are presented in both Dolby and DTS, with the DTS being far superior due to bitrate.  Of the four, it has the best presented image and this comes out further on the Blu-ray release. This Blu-ray is a direct port of the same master to 1080p. Audio is present in Dolby TrueHD 5.1. However, there are still some issues with the image that distract my eyes as on the other three films based of this HD master. There still seems to be signs of grain reduction and image manipulation as on the ’05 SE DVDs, which prevents these from being definitive. Audio packs a bigger punch at about double the bitrate of the DVD’s DTS track.

Also, why do people feel the need to crop films composed and shot for 1.85:1 to 1.78:1? So what if your precious HDTV has two tiny miniscule black letterboxing bars? You’ve cropped the sides off! All four Batmans are cropped this way from their original 1.85:1.

Due to my love of the first film’s Dolby Stereo mix, and after noticing that the credits only list Dolby Stereo, I’m more than curious about the Laserdisc PCM surround. I’ll update comments here when I find a rot-free copy.

Notes: My only problem with this film is that Selina suddenly becomes quite adept at fighting and her other Catwoman activities. Where did all this skill come from?

-You know this film is going to be better when the soundtrack switched from cheesy Prince to Siouxie and the Banshees.

-Returns is beautifully self-aware:

Alfred: Let’s not forget about repairing the Batmobile. There’s certain security to consider. It’s not as though we can take it to any old “Joe’s bodyshop,” is it, sir?

Bruce: Security? Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave? I’m sitting there working and I turn around, there she is. “Oh hi, Vick – come on in.”

Batman (1989)

Bold, uncompromising poster image that stopped 1989 traffic dead in its tracks.

3.5 stars out of 4. Uncannily mesmerizing while dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight.

What Batman did for the comic book industry and comic book film in 1989 is incalculable. It was simply everywhere that summer and its aftereffects are felt to this day, as every single new comic book film that comes out bears the hallmarks of the founding comic book films: Richard Donner’s Superman (1978) and Tim Burton’s Batman (1989). These two films have even more in common. Both are compromised but ultimately great films that feature a developed narrative around their respective character’s origin into their heroic counterparts. Batman forms a kind of dark reflection of the lighter and more robust Superman, much as the character did upon debuting in 1939.

The plot of Batman is simple enough: Batman (Michael Keaton) prowls the night in Gotham City, wreaking havoc on the criminal underworld. This underworld falls under the mob boss Carl Grissom (Jack Palance in a great bit part), whose right hand man is Jack Napier (Jack, is any other name necessary? Nicholson), a man with a certain fondness for the color purple and cards…

Reporter Alexander Knox (Robert Wuhl) investigates “The Batman” to no avail until the arrival of photographer Vicki Vale (Kim Basinger, who sticks out like a really sore thumb). At a party held in Bruce Wayne’s manor, Vale and Knox try and get Commissioner Gordon to admit facts about this mysterious Bat-creature. Bruce is taken by Vale, but is forced to go off after Gordon, who was called away on a big tip off.

This tip is that Napier is cleaning out a chemical plant acting as a front for Grissom’s shady dealings. In fact, he has been set up for having an affair with Grissom’s woman and the police close in. Batman attempts to apprehend Napier, but a stray bullet forces Napier over a railing of chemicals. Batman tries to save him, but Napier falls to his death and lands in the boiling green murk.

Over the course of the film, Napier arises to become the Joker, takes over Grissom’s command and wreaks havoc throughout Gotham. He develops a fondness for Vale, and the film culminates in a final showdown with the two grand foes of comic book lore high atop a Gothic church tower. (You can’t help but notice the giant visual and staging reference to Vertigo.)

Throw in a flashback to Bruce’s parent’s murder and you have basically the general version of every single major comic book origin film that has been released since. (Sequels non withstanding.) But the genius of Batman isn’t in the story. It isn’t even in the monumental production design that was responsible for the construction of a full scale Gotham City that is a third star of the film. The genius and reason why so many have re-watched this film is subtext. Like Superman before it, and Batman Returns to a much greater degree after it, Batman creates a fully realized world and characters entirely through subtext. The seemingly simple story takes on new meaning because the audience is allowed to savor and digest the events onscreen. Burton allows the story to progress naturally and is never afraid to let the camera linger on a scene lest we forget the whimsical dark fantasy that is Batman.

He and in turn we are fascinated with the idea that a man can be so divided into two different personalities. The day and the night, dark and the light sides of Bruce Wayne/Batman are probed in this popcorn blockbuster in ways that are totally unexpected. Keaton gives us a portrait of a haunted man, a man unable to forget the traumatizing night when his parents were gunned down in front of him. His role as Batman is not a child’s desire for revenge but a duty he has assigned to himself that only he can ever perform. It is at once both his existence and the means to save that tortured life. His Bruce Wayne is an educated but preoccupied man who in turn comes off as ineffective and somewhat clumsy. This provides an excellent cover to the Batman persona without resorting to the smarmy playboy. It also forms a protective barrier around the brooding and intensely focused core inside the Batman. Burton cast Keaton because he could picture him needing to put on a big costume to go out and fight crime.

And god, those eyebrows…they seem almost unreal, always questioning and I’ve always thought they resemble bat wings.

The film’s Batman is at once familiar and unsettling. There is something demonic about the Batsuit, primarily in the way the cape can flap like wings and how it makes the man appear more like a creature than just a man in a suit. Even the chest symbol is more like a demonic bat instead of the instantly recognizable standard logo. Batman moves in a semi-robotic way that further reinforces the idea that this an unstoppable force and not a man. (In actuality this is of course because the actor inside could hardly move at all) But it is still definitely Batman, right down to the utility belt full of Batarangs. And Keaton’s eyes just make the burning desire for vengeance come alive in the cold dark shadows of nighttime Gotham.

On the other hand, Jack plays…well Jack. His Joker is really a more whimsical version of his own screen persona. And it doesn’t really work for the character, but is able to work in the context of the film. It’s a good performance with some really wonderfully quotable lines, but all in all I just wish they had gone with a stronger performer in this vein, one who could more accurately portray all the aspects of the Clown Prince of Crime instead of a nuanced caricature deriving heavily from Caesar Romero’s portrayal in the TV series.  Oh heck, I think that not casting Tim Curry here was one of the biggest casting blunders in film history. Whew, glad I finally got that out!

The obligatory love interest of Vicki Vale feels unnecessary because she is unnecessary. The script gives her few options: Look for Batman, be saved by Batman, be confused about Bruce Wayne. That’s it. Really. As portrayed by Kim Basinger, Vale is almost a non-entity. Her performance is completely dull and we really can never see just what both Bruce/Batman and the Joker see in her. (We can’t fault her that much, as she was a last-minute replacement) This would harm the impact of the climax if it weren’t for one other little addition to the story.

In this film, it is the Joker who killed Bruce’s parents. I know what you’re saying: “Wait, what happened to Joe Chill?” the intent is to bring the themes of dual identity and induced transformation closer together so that the balanced yin and yang of the Batman-Joker conflict also becomes intertwined. It is an admirable thought, but ultimately a bit too convenient to have each create the other. Bruce/Batman lost his family and his life in a random act of violence culminating in two gunshots. It is too easy to say that the Joker pulled the trigger because it then gives Batman’s crusade a direct tangible opponent that he can overcome and possibly even surmount his oppression. Batman is doomed to be a creature of the night, united to his code forever so to have the reason for his torment be his primary aggressor is at once to clean and too melodramatic to actually work.

Burton’s Gotham is a cross between a flatter version of Blade Runner and Dark City. It is a grimy metropolis full of both people and steam, darkness and drab colors so that realism and comic book fantasy come together in one giant visual clash. The city becomes a breathing organism that looks as if will swallow its inhabitants whole. Shadows lurk at every corner even in broad daylight so it becomes a perfect habitat for our pointy eared friend. Oddly though the setting itself looks slightly fake which gives this eerie feeling of surrealism so that we are never sure whether this is the 1940′s, the 1980′s or a studio backlot. It is yet another aspect of design that entices the mind.

And then we come to the score. One has to remember that Danny Elfman was not a renowned film composer at this time. His Batman score can easily be defined by the march heard over the opening titles. Dark, operatic, ominous, heroic, orchestral, and ultimately perfectly suited to the film’s take on the Caped Crusader. It’s really a multifaceted score that is also able to provide humor and whimsy to suit even the smaller moments. Modern comic book  film scores should take note of this. It’s not all heroic and dramatic themes. Unfortunately, some folks in the production thought it would be a good idea to bring in some outside talent to make a hit record. They called in Prince to write a song or two and he returned with enough material to release an entire separate soundtrack album inspired by the film. Several of these are rammed into the film, and aren’t bad as backing music in some scenes. But the Museum sequence where Joker destroys all the priceless art does not, repeat: NOT need Prince’s “Partyman” to accompany it. But it’s quickly brushed over and forgotten so the movie can continue. They continued this practice with the other three films in the first franchise but thank goodness with the external songs featured hardly at all.

Most importantly, the film creates a universe for Batman to inhabit. I’m not referring to the production design, which is stellar, but just look at how Returns achieves similar results with a vastly smaller scale. The film shows us an alternate world that truly needs a Batman to watch over it. It may be somewhat like our own, but it is still somewhat comic. This is what Tim Burton really nails in his direction because everything always comes back to this notion of being in a real world. And it is a world that slowly reveals itself, a world for all but primarily aimed at adults. Over time things seep into focus and further enhance the idea of reality. This is the reason why the film is so re-watchable. It doesn’t care to give us everything on first glance. It doesn’t want to give us the easy way out. We have to work a bit too. And for a movie that is a founding pillar of huge commercialization in film, that is a huge achievement.

EDITIONS: Batman was quickly released on VHS and Laserdisc. This master was then released on an early 90′s era DVD, which was riddled with artifacting, cropped to 1.78:1 from 1.85:1. Finally in 2005, the film received a 2 Disc Special Edition fully loaded with in depth documentaries, Director commentary, and a brand new master struck for all four films in the franchise. All of these look strangely soft, as if there had been some grain removal and noise reduction. Audio gets a bump from the original Dolby Stereo surround to 5.1 via Dolby and DTS mixes. These are nice additions but both feature a tinny quality with little low end information. The original track would have been nice.

The Blu-ray edition is the same HD master from 2005 used for the SE DVD, just like the other three films respective Blu-rays. Video is improved with the jump to 1080p, but there’s still that inherent softness and lack in fine detail which once again suggests that these old HD masters were tinkered on in the ways of DVD false enhancement. Audio is 5.1 in a lossless Dolby True HD track. This appears to be the master source for the SE DVD’s 5.1 mixes, and all three are identical in content.

All things considered, I watch Batman on Laserdisc. The pressing is from 1990, done by Pioneer USA. It is an exceptional transfer, full of detail and clean as any LD image around. Framing is at the original 1.85:1 so all of the little details aren’t lost on the sides. But the big draw here is the audio. I’ll admit that when I watched the DVD’s I never liked the 5.1 mixes. They seemed tinny and too accentuated in the highs. Plus the separation seemed to modern for 1989. On LD, the digital tracks present the original Dolby Stereo surround mix in lossless PCM. Here there’s plenty of low end that provides a punch sorely lacking from the remixes. The rear mono surround channel is exceptional for this format and features fantastic stereo separation, so much so that you feel like there’s 5.1 going on sometimes. And your subwoofer will rumble with joy at all kinds of things that wouldn’t be covered by a discrete LFE channel.

There is a downside however. The VHS and LD were color timed upon their release so that they would appear brighter and more visible on CRT televisions of the day. The original film is a bit darker and more clouded in shadow. But the modern transfers are only minutely darker in comparison so this is kinda negligible. In any case, the 21 year old Laser kicks tail. And yes, I think it’s even better than the Blu-ray. Sue me. When Warner finally does justice to all the Bat-films transfer wise (yes, even the Nolan films aren’t done very well) then we’ll see. Until then, “I’ve got work to do.”

NOTE: I just picked up a copy of the film’s novelization, and will read through to see if there are any differences. So far every Batman novelization I’ve read has a multitude of material that was either glossed over or dropped altogether.

PS: What was Alfred thinking when he let you know who inside?!?!?!?!?

The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

 

Do we really have to do this?
-Contractual obligation.
Oh. I guess there is no severance pay.

Zero stars out of 4. Abysmal garbage.
It’s like a huge budget video game cinematic. Overlong, overcomplicated, overproduced and boring as hell.

After all of the hype, Reloaded failed to deliver on most every level. It confused, angered, and generally wore out everyone in the theater and we all left thinking: “just what are they going to do to end this thing?”

Essentially, this third Matrix film is nothing more than a feeble attempt to tie up some loose ends. The two major questions asked by the audience are: “Why?” and “What?” quickly followed by a defeated “Who even cares?”.   In a Return of the Jedi style conclusion, Revolutions gives us both the final battle and final confrontation between the hero and villain. Except ROTJ is both well made and pretty well plotted. This isn’t.

Filming back to back with Reloaded didn’t help matters. We pick up after the beyond cheesy cliffhanger from the previous film. Neo finds himself stuck in some abandoned train station inside the Matrix with some programs looking to get out. How he got there is unexplained, and we quickly realize that we couldn’t have cared less if they did. he is not allowed to leave because the controller is an agent of the Merovingian. Thus Morpheus and Trinity go in to convince the Frenchman to release Neo. This is basically a repeat of the same scene in Reloaded, but with a different goal.  After a brief dialogue, he gives in and Neo is rescued. Woo.

Neo then visits the Oracle (now played by a different actress due to the untimely death of Gloria Foster) who engages in yet another overlong conversation of sheer mumbo jumbo. Essentially Neo and Smith are a yin and yang, and the war will soon end. After Neo leaves, Smith appears and takes over both the Oracle and her protector.

Back in the real world, Neo requests he be given a ship to travel to the Machine City. He takes Niobe’s ship and goes off to his unknown destiny with Trinity. Niobe, Morpheus and the other crew members attempt to make it back to Zion despite the machine attack. They quickly realize that the other crew member who had been unconscious had killed a crew member and must be stowing aboard Neo’s  ship. He attacks and disarms Trinity. It takes Neo ages to realize this is actually Smith despite the man using all of Smith’s dialogue and mannerisms for several minutes. Finally he is killed after blinding Neo with a power cable. But don’t worry, he can still see. Magic! So they continue on with trinity at the helm. Wait, can’t Neo still see? Oh well.

The defense is being mounted inside Zion to ward off the oncoming hordes of machines. This consists of lots of guns, and giant cumbersome human-operated walkers to also shoot machines. This begins a stupidly contrived “battle” that consists of little more than CGI fakery. The first film showed that the human’s only weapon was an EMP to destroy all circuitry. Where did all the guns come from then? And if they already have beam and energy weaponry, why are they using projectile weapons?!?! This strategy of this effort is even more stupid as the humans are hopelessly outnumbered. But for some reason the machines never pour in more infantry and these idiots in suits are able to last far longer than they actually should. This mindless conflict goes on for far too long, eventually culminating in the arrival of the sip containing Morpheus and Niobe. They make it inside the gates and trigger an EMP to render the army useless. WHY DIDN’T THEY DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE??? In fact, why not ATTACK THE MACHINES BEFORE THEY ATTACK YOU WITH A GIANT EMP??? Then again we are talking about the people who face impending doom with techno raves…

This has knocked out all of Zion’s equipment and the humans retreat to further levels and wait for the final assault. Neo and Trinity reach the Machine City are are eventually attacked by numerous defenses. Neo is unable to hold all of them off and has Trinity fly upwards and through the clouds into the atmosphere. And here is perhaps the only genuinely emotional moment in the entire film, where Trinity sees actual sunlight for the first and only time. Here in a Matrix sequel is a genuine moment of humanity against the philosophical whimsy and badly overdone action gimmickry. And then it is suddenly over, with the ship crashing and Trinity dying.  This scene is glossed over, so that any shred of empathy we might have remaining for these increasingly inhuman characters doesn’t even have the chance to surface.

Neo makes his way inside the city until confronted by a floating thing that we are meant to take as the Machine leader. For some reason it forms a face and talks to Neo. In exchange for “peace”, Neo will go inside the Matrix and defeat Smith in one final battle. If he loses, he will be killed. So he enters once more, and finds Smith everywhere.

The final battle is on a rainy city street, with thousands of Smith copies just looking on. The battle itself is overdone and completely a non-entity. Both are equally matched and is becomes readily apparent that there will be no clear winner. Neo cannot defeat the odds against him, and it would take Smith a very long time to kill Neo. SO THEY KEEP ON FIGHTING. You could easily go to the bathrooom at this moment, check the phone, do the dishes, or simply fast forward because this entire end conflict has no tension or impact in any conceivable way. Finally, Neo realizes he cannot defeat Smith. He allows himself to die, and thus the Machine leader kills him. But because Neo is now Smith, Smith dies too. This makes sense, but yet doesn’t. Why would this actually work? Was Neo still present in some shape or form? Why would this kill all the Smiths? Why didn’t the leader kill Smith in the first place?

The machines pull back and stop attacking Zion. Peace has been made due to Neo’s sacrifice. The Oracle and Architect meet and agree to free all humans who want to be freed. Peace is declared to “last as long as it can”. The Oracle admits that they might see Neo again and that she didn’t know this would happen but that she believed.

And at this point no one really gives a damn. If you really look at it closely, none of this outcome makes any sense. Why would the Machine leader agree to any of this preposterous conclusion? Machines don’t want peace! They’re machines for Pete’s sake! How do humans already plugged into the Matrix decide if they want to be freed? They’re inside a fake world already! And is this ending supposed to mean that there will be an eventual breach of the peace and that war will break out again anew? Weren’t the machines ready to eliminate the human race if necessary? Why declare peace and give up their power supply of jacked-in humans? It. Doesn’t. Make. Any. Sense.

By the time you’ve made it through this second sequel, you almost deserve a medal. There is no reason for any of this to exist, as the story is mindless. The action is thrown at you and your sense s are so overwhelmed by CGI that it becomes cartoonish in every sense. Never is Revolutions engaging to any part of the audience, and you spend the entire two hours and nine minutes wishing for the big lumbering giant to end it’s reign of monotony.

There is supposedly a sequel in the works, with Keanu Reeves attached. I don’t know how it would work with the ending of this film, but revisiting this piece of junk makes it obvious that they left it open for a sequel. (Even though the character is supposedly dead) In all actuality, after the total abomination that is the Wachowski’s Speed Racer, I really don’t want to know.

There is no reason for this film to have been made, and it takes a supreme effort of will to even have a positive thought about The Matrix afterwards. I stayed away from the entire franchise for many years afterwards, trying to block the whole thing out of my mind. Reloaded was bad, but this was just mindlessly bad. The theater where Revolutions was screened was dead quiet. By the end credits the entire auditorium was in stunned silence. Or maybe they were just all asleep.

EDITIONS: Revolutions was released just like Reloaded. Great DVD with 2.35:1 16:9 anamorphic image, Dolby 5.1 and a second disc of extras. The Blu-ray is ported from the inferior HD-DVD format, with a Dolby True-HD 5.1 mix. Other than getting a great deal on one of the trilogy boxsets, there is no reason to own this garbage.

The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

Whoa, I know how to write a screenplay now.

1.5 stars out of 4. Extremely Disappointing Godawful Mess That In Effect Gives Us The Finger.

Here is an sci-fi action film for the senses and not the mind. Unfortunately it isn’t really for the senses either. The Matrix pulled a Die Hard-like feat in making a smaller action film with no real fanfare become a worldwide phenomenon. This eagerly awaited sequel was filmed back to back with the third sequel, which was released six months later. What occurred over the four year gap between films is that the drive of the story evaporated.

I’ve found that the only way to accurately get across some of my extreme issues with this sequel is to go through the film chronologically, so that some of the frustration, confusion and sheer rising anger encountered can be adequately expressed. It shouldn’t be a bad film. The production value is high, and enough of a story is present in order to keep some semblance of a coherent narrative. However it is the indifference to this bare minimum necessary to maintain an audience’s attention span and other elements that makes Reloaded fail completely as both a movie to be enjoyed  and as a sequel to the first film. Instead of being along for the ride and a part of the action, we are left on the sidelines and told that we humans are just to stupid to understand the great events going on before our very mortal eyes.

Reloaded opens with the human resistance in deeper struggle with the machines. a secret meeting is held between crews inside the Matrix where it is revealed that a machine army is digging towards Zion, the last human city. The machines mean to end the war in one fell swoop and will reach the city in 72 hours. The crews must return to Zion, but Morpheus asks for one crew to stay behind so that they may have news of the Oracle. Neo, “The One” who was supposed to end the war and save humanity, still has no idea of what he is supposed to do. (How would anyone know?) One crew remains and the meeting is broken up by agents. Curiously this is preceded by Agent Smith giving Neo his earpiece and thanking him for setting Smith free. Wait, didn’t Smith get destroyed last time round?

The others return to Zion (giving no thought to the reappearance of Smith), giving us our first glimpse of the last human city in existence. A place that was only referred to briefly in the original film, the Zion that was built up in our imaginations of course does not exist. What we are presented is essentially just a giant cave with rooms connected to other caves. Oh, and there are some people around wearing rags and robes. At their home, everybody tries to get a little R&R, especially Neo & Trinity who seem to never be able to have their umm..conjugal visitations. This is because Neo is seen as a Christ-like figure who is besieged with request to bless and aid others in need.

Everyone continues talking about the impending machine attack and what the people should be told. This goes on for several scenes and no agreement is reached on whether to lie, water down the truth, or admit that an army is coming. We then focus on the secondary character of the new computer operator, Link, and his wife who is angry with him serving in the ship that killed her brothers and being in danger. Ooookay, was that really necessary to explore?

That night, a meeting is held to explain what is going to happen to Zion. Neo and Trinity sneak off to have that visit. Without any hesitation, Morpheus stands before everyone and brazenly shouts that the machines are coming to kill them all (in a highly but unintentionally funny over the top performance), and that things look bleak, but that they will make a lot of noise. Oh, I mean something more like: “WE ARE ALL GOING TO PROBABLY DIE, SO INSTEAD OF PREPARING OR GETTING READY FOR THE FINAL BATTLE OF OUR LIVES, LET’S HAVE A MASSIVE SLOW-MOTION RAVE AND GROPE EACH OTHER TO TECHNO!!!” This terrible and completely stupid scene lasts for a good four minutes and is inter-cut with Neo and Trinity’s lovemaking. After you’ve winced for this entire sequence, as we all did in the theater, the movie decides to finally continue with those still in the Matrix trying to get word back to Morpheus that the Oracle wants to meet. Unfortunately the last man is captured by Smith who uses his new-found power to copy himself so that Smith is then extracted into the real world via the telephone. Wait, how does that work?

Neo finds and has to fight the Oracle’s bodyguard, Seraph. Then he is led to his meeting with the Oracle, who engages in a completely nonsensical dialogue with Neo for about five minutes before finally relaying Neo’s new objective. He must retrieve the Keymaker from the Merovingian in order to reach the Source where the path of the One ends. (“Are you the keymaster?“) And of course this makes little to no sense, but at least it’s something for us to go on. The Oracle then leaves and Smith appears. He explains that when Neo destroyed him that he was supposed to go off to be destroyed like other dead programs. But he simply didn’t want to. Okay, if that’s true then why isn’t there a fail-safe in the Matrix to prevent this, and how does this make Smith seemingly invulnerable and able to copy himself? Smith essentially says has no purpose and tries to copy Neo. This does not work, and a fight ensues. It starts well, and continues. Starting to get a bit stale, more Smith clones appear. Getting more stale, more clones appear. Finally a small army of Smith clones appear, and Neo flies away. Throughout this fight, things turn into complete computer animation which absolutely destroys any and all sense of this being a real conflict. The addition of a computer animated Neo simply does not work and undoes the fight entirely. Not that it wasn’t getting stale anyway. (Oh, and isn’t it funny how some of the Smith clones have a different face in the longer shots?)

Two crews volunteer to aid Morpheus’s crew in the hopes of proving the prophecy of the One while the rest prepare for the machines’ assault. Morpheus, trinity and Neo then enter into the film’s only truly interesting scene where they meet with the Merovingian. The Frenchman is a dealer in information, an older program who lords over his power and underlings like a classic-era Warner Bros. villain. Here is a fully realized character who draws out every last syllable as if it were a fine wine. His actions are all meticulously plotted, even a tryst with an attractive woman is wonderfully overdone with a cleverly disguised dessert that triggers an overpowering orgasm.

He of course refuses to give them the Keymaker, and adds that they have nothing to give him in return. They are then led to the Keymaker by his frustrated wife who does this service in exchange for a kiss from Neo-a kiss that must be performed as if he were kissing Trinity. Ah, actual interest and development in a scene arises! She gives them the Keymaker, which royally pisses off her husband. (Hey look, Brides of Dracula! A much better movie!) He sends his goons to retrieve the Keymaker and Neo fends them off. He stops them after a fight that goes on far too long with an obvious conclusion, and the Merovingian escapes to sadly never again appear in this series, save for a essentially pointless cameo.

Trinity and Morpheus are pursued by the Merovingian’s twin ghost boys who are seemingly invulnerable. They are forced to take the only available exit. It happens to be located on the freeway. This is built up as a very bad idea, and thus we have an example of that almost obligatory part of an action film: the car chase.

This is the one section of the film people point to to explain away the film’s problems. As long as there’s a big long action sequence, it must be good right? The slow motion bullet time is used frequently which immediately ruins any and all of the tension that has been built up in the chase thus far. Agents join in the chase to further complicate matters. But for some odd reason “the exile is our primary target“. What? Why do they care about an old program? Shouldn’t they be going after the human resistance? Why does this make sense? Why do I keep asking all of these rhetorical questions? I’m never going to be answered by the movie.

This scene progresses as if the filmmakers had gone to the John Woo school of directing, but Woo’s deep connection to the emotional subtext and character is sorely lacking. You continually come to realization that this entire sequence is designed around a single idea: “Wouldn’t it be cool if…” Cool. Cool is not a word with which one should design a film or storyline. Cool can be used in coming up with a situation or snake pit for action films. Cool should be used in conjunction with imagination in order to further enhance the impact of the story. The car chase fails miserably in maintaining story and tension. It becomes a lifeless video game level instead of a hair raising car chase where we are worried about these characters or what happens to the Keymaker. At this point, we still don’t even know who this little guy is!

Neo flies in to grab everyone and they adjourn to find out just what they need to do. The Keymaker tells them of a secret floor in a building that will give them access to Source entrance. They will need to shut down the power at two different locations in order to start a five minute window to get through the door to the Source. Neo must go alone into the unknown. One team goes in and completes their objective, with the other team’s ship destroyed by machines before their station can be destroyed. Thus, Trinity unbeknownst to Neo (who asked her to stay out of the Matrix because he has continual nightmares of her death) goes into destroy the station so that Neo can complete his mission. An Agent appears and they do battle.

Neo, Morpheus and the Keymaker are confronted by Smith in front of the door to the Source. (How did he get there?) he attacks with his clones and Neo manages to get the others into the doorway, but the Keymaker is fatally shot. He tells Neo which door to go through and tells Morpheus which door will lead him out of the Matrix. (So Morpheus was here for no reason. Good.) Neo goes through the doorway and gets to the point in the film and franchise where it all started to go completely downhill…

Neo meets a man sitting in an office chair in an empty room amidst dozens of TV screens plastered with his face. This is the Architect. The designer of the Matrix begins to spill the beans to Neo as to what is going on and what The One’s true objective is. There is much too much mumbo jumbo surrounding the few nuggets of truth, so the audience must again spend this time trying to slough through the crap to get to the meaning of what is being discussed. And the Architect begins by saying that Neo (and in reference, us as well) will only understand some of what is being said. That’s a great way to get us all off your backs, just say that we won’t understand what is going on!!!

Finally the Architect relays to Neo that the path of the One is really just another machine setup. It was found a necessary evil in order to keep all of the humans peaceable inside the Matrix and in subservience.  The One must put his special code inside the machine source and reset things. Zion will be destroyed along with all of its inhabitants, and the One will start a new Zion with a selected small group of humans. (Dr. Strangelove’s mine shaft anyone?) Neo is the sixth “One” thus far and Zion has already been destroyed five times. Neo is now presented with a “choice”. If he returns to the Matrix, then all those plugged into he Matrix will be killed and Zion destroyed.  If he goes to the source as directed, humanity will be saved from complete annihilation. Not much of a choice there is it?

The One is programmed with a deep connection to other humans and thus is supposed to be inclined towards performing his tasked duty. But Neo is primarily connected to Trinity, who is being killed by an Agent just as in his nightmares. So, Neo goes after her and dooms all humanity to destruction. A climax is quickly forced, where Trinity dies, Neo revives her, Neo only partially reveals the plot to the others, the ship is attacked and destroyed by Sentinels, they barely get away, and Neo suddenly realizes he has become awesome outside of the Matrix. He stops several Sentinels with his mind and promptly falls unconscious. The crew is picked up by another ship who has a crewman in the sickbay in a coma like Neo. Of course the crewman is the same one who was infected by Smith.

TO BE CONTINUED

Seriously, who ends a film with a silly “to be continued” card? This is not a TV episode or a cliffhanger of a serial. It’s a silly cliffhanger simply meant to bring people back in six months later. And the sequel is really the same film going on for 129 minutes longer. But with all of the really bad parts.

The ending of Reloaded makes little to no real sense. Neo has killed everyone already, so what is the use of Trinity surviving? Oh wait, the killing of everyone connected to the Matrix is never mentioned again, and absolutely no one is ever informed of what the Architect told Neo. So basically this has all become just a setup for the final assault on Zion. So much for leverage.

They had to bring things to a quick climax so how would you write the crew getting away on foot from the Sentinels? Oh yeah, Neo now has his magic powers in the real world! Wait, that makes ABSOLUTELY NO FREAKING SENSE IN ANY CONTEXT! (Sighs.) I still cannot tell if this is just lazy writing or if we were meant to take this seriously. Why would Neo be powerful outside the Matrix? The entire premise of this series was that the humans only could gain a partial semi-advantage via hacking into the system of the Matrix. To have him just as powerful outside ruins any dramatic context previously established and guts the film of any tension or interest that could possibly be left.

And then to have Neo in the same ship as the Smith-man, who just happens to also be in a coma is beyond coincidence. He’s not going to do something bad now is he?

The problem I have with this film, and its much inferior sequel is that all of the spunk present in the first film is completely gone. With the increased budget and success came a lifelessness to the Matrix universe. That spark that said, “screw it, let’s end the movie with Rage Against the Machine and Neo flying into the camera” is nowhere to be found. In addition the characters become one dimensional and over the course of Reloaded we cease to care a damn bit about them. Some fans of Star Wars have claimed that as soon as the sequels arrived the magic of a vast unknown universe was somewhat dissipated. That may be debatable, but it is absolutely true as far as the Matrix franchise is concerned. With each proceeding minute of this 4 1/2  hour snoozefest (both sequels put together) you feel all of the enjoyment and love you had for the first film get put through the wringer. If you have any love left for the franchise after sitting through both sequels, then hats off to you. I thought I didn’t and stayed away ever since the theatrical release.

This isn’t even going into the fact that the plot has no tension or definite meaning. Heck, there isn’t even a point to the mess. Reloadedis big, sprawling and unsteady. It’s as if this is a big lumbering ship lost at sea with no one at the helm to control the madness. For all those who claim this to be a decent movie, I challenge you: When was the last time you actually sat down and watched this mess? Especially right  after the first film, which is a first class operatic masterwork in every way compared to this junk. The first film has passion, energy, characters with definite motivations, a fully realized opposing force with impressive agents in its service, pacing, and an actual screenplay that combines all of these elements into a highly entertaining and more simply put it: a great movie.

I found myself becoming increasingly angry at Reloaded while reviewing the DVD after all this time. It must be constructed in a way as to provide the maximum amount of confusion and frustration to the viewer. Not only does the film contradict itself numerous times, but it does so in such a mindbogglingly uninteresting way that you cease to really care at all.

EDITIONS: The DVD issue was and still is quite impressive. 16:9 anamorphic 2.35:1 image that looks spotless for the format and age, involving 5.1 Dolby mix that resembles the theatrical presentation, and a bevy of extras on a second disc. This was pretty much reissued untouched for the Ultimate boxset, and a the HD master struck for that DVD box was rolled over to  HD-DVD with a Dolby True-HD 5.1 soundmix. This was simply ported over to Blu-ray. (All of this much like Warner’s practices, akin to their treatment of the Batman series on video.)